hotel room ftw
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think I died a long time ago.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
