she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
