College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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