Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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