Did you just see the Batmobile???
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
