First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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