He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
