Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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