he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
