I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
