I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
