I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
