what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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