I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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