I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
