be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
