Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
