after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
