I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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