He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
