i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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