I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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