my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
