She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
