People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
