that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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