Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
