I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
