you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
