I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
