We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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