Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
