8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
