Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
