Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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