I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
