its not stalking. its research.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
