garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize