We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
