i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
