dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
