Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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