Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
