What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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