After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
