you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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