shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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