didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
