As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
