omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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