I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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