420 ftw
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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