just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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