tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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