What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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