He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
