I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
