I want you more than these girls want KFC
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
