that's an acceptable place to lick
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
