just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
