everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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