When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize