With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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