I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
