Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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