i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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